The other day I was considering writing down my thoughts in a blog of some sort and I remember that I used to keep a Xanga. Naturally, I became a bit reminiscent of my high school years as I scrolled through my past entries. A lot of the time I wouldn't write substantial stuff; I'd just talk about being in one of "those moods". Maybe that is a good enough reason to put my thoughts into writing, but talk about melodramatic! Back then it took me a long time to put things into perspective as I was too sentimental, overly emotional and I thought too much. I let some situations, and certain individuals in particular, affect me more than they should have. I used to be really idealistic, and when an outcome was inconsistent with those ideals, I'd become a bit pessimistic. By dwelling on the past, I'd focus on the irrelevant issues that prevented me from moving forward with my life. As humans, I feel we have a tendency to try to make sense of the past; we try to rationalize our wrongdoings or point the blame away from ourselves. It's really easy to focus on the negatives, and I for one know this. I end up beating myself up about some irrelevant mistake that I may have made, and I may even take the blame for something that was not my fault or under my control. It is not necessarily a bad thing to think about what happened, what went wrong and try to understand. Of course one should realize his or her mistakes and use them to make him/herself better. We grow as individuals based on our experiences - both the ups and the downs. And of course, although we should not mull over the downs, the challenges of life shape who we become. When going through hard times, we can either rise up to the challenge or give in to defeat. The latter strategy will only lead to a melancholy state, and this in turn can become a vicious cycle. Undoubtedly it is all a learning process, and not as simple as ABC. I will be the first to admit that I find it hard to control my thoughts and emotions - everyone is different in this respect, but I know that I have to try that much harder, and I can't give up. Similarly, if you give up you will hinder your chance of success. Sometimes we falsely attribute another's success to luck - "he's so lucky to be working at Morgan Stanley in London" or "He's so lucky that he is with that really amazing girl" - you get the idea. There are people who get things handed to them on a plate, but in reality you cannot let this cause you to sit back and watch life take its course. Success will come to those who take those risks and opportunities! Look at my previous Xanga entries - sure I was not as mature or experienced, but sometimes I'd just sit back and wait for things to happen. At university I have tried to become more confident and adept at taking risks. My experiences over the past few years have shown this. Still, when things do not go as I had hoped, I become more cautious and I feel that I am back at square one. This is a fallacious thought. It's like saying that I have made progress, but an obstacle is in my way so now I am back to where I started. Those who succeed will put in the hardwork to try to overcome those obstacles. Here I'm going to quote the late Tim Russert (which I find appropriate since it is Father's Day and his tragic passing recently): “Whatever the criticisms and the after-action report may be about what was right and what was wrong looking back, what would be a horrible tragedy would be to distract ourselves from avoiding further problems because we're spending time talking about problems that have already occurred.” I believe he was talking about the War on Iraq. In reference to my earlier points though, don't distract yourself by the past if it will hold you back in your present and ultimately your future.

My Dad is actually an avid fan of Tim Russert and he was saddened to learn of his death on Friday. It was quite ironic too that it occured so close to Father's Day. MSNBC was actually replaying an interview (which I remember seeing a few years back) about his books Big Russ and Me and Wisdom of Our Fathers. I think I am going to buy these two for my Dad, as he seemed quite touched and inspired. As I sat there on my settee, I thought about how fortunate I am to have such a great family. Today, my Dad reiterated a point (I'm paraphrasing what he said): "We [our family] may go through some hardships and focus on some of the negatives, but there is something that you all have learned that makes you part of the top 1% of people. You are able to exercise sound judgment to do what is right. We are gracious and make an effort to show our genuine concern for others even if those people do not do the same." For example, today we called all of our immediate relatives for Father's Day. We didn't have to, especially since we always make the effort. We care though, so we make that effort. Being a bit introverted though, sometimes I don't always call (and of course it's difficult sometimes being at university) - but those who know me, know that I care. The other day, I was talking to a friend regarding this - if there is such a thing, I care too much.

Exactly a  year ago to this day, I made an entry on xanga. It was one year. Well now it has been two years!! Wow...time flies....it feels like I have been here for a lifetime. So many great memories....so many different experiences. I am glad I made the decision to come here. Anyway, I would write more, but I have limited time....

-Ravi  :)

I AM DONE WITH SCHOOL FINALLY!!!!! My last day was Friday May 6th, and then we had prom which was wicked. Then I had  a few AP exams, but now I am DONEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Enough Said.

Ravi